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Corporate Values
How We
Honk
Fourteen values, zero corporate retreats.
No. 01
Don't trust someone who underhangs toilet roll.
No. 02
Mistrust of adults who use the phrase 'it'll be a giggle'.
No. 03
Don't marry someone named after a city.
No. 04
Never call a cremation a roast.
No. 05
Always ask yourself, 'Am I the arsehole?'.
No. 06
Always bring solids to a juice retreat.
No. 07
Maintain a general suspicion of reflexive pronouns.
No. 08
Never take advice from someone who describes themselves as 'a disruptor.'
No. 09
Never mistake LinkedIn enthusiasm for actual joy.
No. 10
Be wary of anyone wearing fingerless gloves for non-fingerless activities.
No. 11
Avoid people who introduce you to their dog before themselves.
No. 12
Never forget that Malcolm Tucker was based on Alastair Campbell.
No. 13
Always assume the pub quiz team named 'Quizlamic State' won't be funny in person either.
No. 14
Assume every WhatsApp group larger than eight people contains at least one enemy.